People to Avoid Right After a Breakup

When going through a breakup, it’s natural to feel impulsive and confused. After all, the process is an emotional rollercoaster. And part of that rollercoaster is scrolling through your contacts and wanting to call everyone you know to talk badly on your ex. Still, there are certain people you should avoid calling in order to protect yourself and your fragile emotional state during this hard time.

The person who hated your ex

It can feel really tempting to call up that loved one, who had a grudge against your ex, or warned you from the start. I mean, nothing cleanses the soul like a good ex-bashing, right? According to some therapists, that’s wrong, and might just make you end up feeling worse than you did before. Being hit with an “I told you so” can make things hurt even more, and even if they don’t come at you in a condescending way, saying toxic and negative things (to an excessive extent)  won’t actually make you feel better, in the end. You’re just dwelling on someone who doesn’t deserve your attention anymore.

It’s perfectly fine to have an anger phase, but try not to wallow in it — for our own sake. Plus, too much communication with these people can cloud a time of important self-reflection. Reach out once you’ve processed a little more, unless you’re 100% sure that all this person will offer is support.

Your mutual friends

While it’s not possible to get rid of every friend you had in common, you’ll probably want to steer clear of couples and friends that knew him before you. Of course, if the friend takes your side in the breakup, that’s a different matter. Hanging out with the friends you shared can bring up difficult memories, and if they share information with your ex, it can complicate things even more.

Another thing that’s important to own up to is the reason why you’re reaching out to a friend that’s also tight with your ex. If you’re using them to seek out information, spy, or talk poorly on that person and blemish their reputation, that’s a no-no. Not only is it bad breakup etiquette, but it’ll just end up making you suffer more. It’s also not ok to ask a mutual friend to pick sides.